I send my kids to private school. Every year I fork out more money than most people around the world make in a year so that my kids can get the best education in LA. It is partly because schools in LA are weak and partly because education is so important to our family. But are my kids really getting a better education?
I was talking with a mom at preschool who said that her step daughter has gone to many of the best private schools and is no better off than the kids she knows who have gone to public. The reason? Private schools are much more beholden to parents and their points of view. They need the parents happy so that the get involved in the school, donate cash, volunteer and help the school grow. Sometimes that needs of the kids are put second to the needs of the schools.
With public schools parents may try to voice their input, but the system is in tact and control by the board, Parents are welcome, but not needed. With private schools parents are vital. Sometimes that is a good thing. Private schools have huge parental involvement. But often it means parents feel entitled to control the school. Bad idea. If parents could teach, we’d all home school our kids.
So we’d like to hear what you think. Private or Public? If your kids go to public, would you send them to private if there was a good one in your neighborhood and money was not an issue? If your kids go to private, what made you make that choice?
Okay, if any of you are 40 or older you’ll relate to this. If you haven’t reached 40 yet, then you may want to pay attention.
I used to hear from friends that when they hit the big 4 - 0 that they suddenly gained weight. I thought I was immune. I have always had a good metabolism and could eat mostly whatever I wanted. Except for college when frat parties, beer, and midnight Domino’s gave me my “Freshman 15″ I’ve never had an issue with my weight. I only gained 20 lbs with my first child and 40 with the twins. All of which I lost easily between nursing and a little extra exercise. So when I started seeing my weight tick up I wasn’t really concerned.
But now I realize that the size 4 clothes in my closet won’t fit, and even the few 6’s are a little snug. YIKES!!! I’m wondering if I saved any of those maternity clothes.
I’ve been trying to get it back under control, but it seems that my normal diet is causing me to expand. Even after a week of eating light I get on the scale and gasp. “What?! Oh my god I’m getting fat!” I yell at my husband. He just laughs at me, but what does he know. He’s put on a few too!
Some of you might say, “Nicole, get off it! You’re still a size 6. What the F&%k are you complaining about?” My point is not that I have been carrying around extra weight that I can’t get off. It is that my body and metabolism are changing and I don’t know how to readjust. I am afraid of reaching the point where the amount I have to lose is so intimidating that I won’t be able to do it. I read about and see so many people who struggle for years to get their weight under control. I don’t want that to happen to me. And if I don’t get it under control now, who knows how much I’ll expand.
So Alyssa and I are doing a weight loss program together. Nothing too complicated. No diet we’re following. We’re simply checking in every day on our progress. What we ate, our exercise, our morning weight, etc. The goal is that by supporting each other, we’ll stick with it.
So Alyssa wants to lose 15. I want to lose 10. We’ll keep you posted on how we do. And if you are struggling with your weight and want to join us, please let us know. Let’s make it the Moms’ Weight Loss Support Group. Share your tricks and progress with each other. I know we’re not the only over 40 moms who want a to lose a little.
Why on earth do divorced parents, or those who are going through the process, use their children as pawns? This weekend I experienced two different episodes of parents putting their kids in the middle in an attempt for one parent to benefit over the other and it made me sick. In the end, both kids suffered and neither parent actually gained a thing. I realize that it’s a difficult situation when there are kids involved and no, I’m not living through a divorce so, I’m not in a position to preach but, for god’s sake, do these parents even realize what they are doing to these kids?
In previous discussions that I had with both sets of parents, they all said that they want to do what’s best for their kids but, it seems like when parental disagreements come into play, what’s best for the kids goes right out the window. I can just imagine how devastating it must be for the kids to deal with the divorce to begin with, but being put in the middle time after time, what is the long term effect? Here are two great kids that are quiet, rarely smile and overall, seem sad and distant and my heart just breaks for them. I wish their parents could look through their eyes and understand what they are going through.
After watching the situations unfold, the best I could do was to keep my mouth shut (which is very difficult for me) and to encourage my daughter to try and be a good friend and source of support. Without getting into a lot of details with my daughter (since she is only 9), I explained that divorce is a tough thing and some kids have a difficult time dealing with it. There may be certain days the kids stay with their mom and other days they spend with their dad. And at times, they may see their parents arguing and get kind of down. So, by being a good friend she could help take her friends focus off what was happening between her parents and do her best to help make her friends smile and have fun. At the end of our conversation, my daughter looked at me and said, “Wow mom, that has to be so hard for them, I’m going over there to try and make both of them laugh so when you see them smile, you know I’m being a good friend.”
About five minutes later I looked over at them and saw the three of them smiling, my daughter glanced over at me and gave me a thumbs up. I was so proud of her!
One difference between Alyssa and I is that I make cooking for my kids a central part of my weekly plan. In Alyssa’s house, her meals are a chore.
I love to cook. Growing up, our kitchen was always a central place where we gathered, cooked together and told stories. Maybe it’s my family’s Italian background, who knows, but the kitchen is still my favorite room in my house.
So each weekend I sit and think of fun and different meals to make for my kids. It’s a challenge, that’s for sure. I have a daughter who won’t eat vegetables, a son who hates things that have sauce or are all mixed up, but luckily I also have a son who will eat just about anything.
Despite the challenges, I try to introduce even my picky eaters to different foods. I figure the best way for them to get over their pickiness is to never give them what they like to eat. I’m not sure this strategy is working, but I sure have more fun making a new meal every night than cooking plain buttered pasta each evening.
So, for this week, here is my meal plan. It may be a little less exciting than usual since it’s the first week with everyone out of school and I’m not sure how much time I’ll have to cook.
Sunday (Father’s Day)
Grilled Shrimp Skewers, Confetti Rice
Monday
Rosemary and Lemon Chicken, Sauteed Snow Peas, Garlic Cheesy Bread
I picked up a copy of The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. In case you missed his video, Pausch is the computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon University who was invited to give “The Last Lecture”, a tradition at the school where professors have a chance to give their life advice to the students as if it were their last lecture. Only in this case it really was Professor Pausch’s last lecture as he had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and only had a few months to live. Father to 3 young children and a loving husband, Pausch’s moving and inspiring lecture was captured on video and became one of the most popular viral videos of last year.
Now he has taken the messages of his lecture and written an equally powerful book. (Okay, I know the book came out a few months ago, but moms are busy and I’m just now discovering it.)
To say that the book is an inspiritational reminder to live your life would be an understatement. As a mother the book changed me within in the first few chapters. The most signifiant message for me was the importance of fulfilling childhood dreams. As a mother, this translated into taking the time to learn and understand the dreams of my children and finding ways for those dreams to be a reality. It is these dreams that shape our life long desires. Understanding what your children want is a huge part of helping them find those things in life that will make their hearts sing.
As I was reading this book I tried to think about my own childhood dreams. It took a few days to remember all the things I had dreamt of becoming. I dreamt of working in entertainment. I did that. I dreamt of living in a foreign country. I did that. I dreamt of skydiving. I did that, too, much to my mother’s chagrin. But I also dreamt of becoming a mother. I’ve obviously done that. The fulfillment of these dreams is what has shaped my sense of fulfillment with my life.
Over the past few days I started focusing on my children’s dreams. What do they get excited about? What do they passion for. It may sound ridiculous that a stay at home mom who spends almost all of her time with her kids may not know these things already, but it’s one thing to know what your kids like and enjoy and another to really focus on their passions. It is easy to write off our children’s dreams as just another piece of childhood. But it’s not. It’s part of what defines who they will be their whole life.
So if you haven’t already, watch The Last Lecture and buy the book. Then, go sit down with your kids and find out the 5 to 10 things they most want to do in their life and talk with them about ways to make them happen. You will be guiding them toward a life of content and fulfillment.
I read an article today entitled “The Delight of Coaching Your Own Child.” While the article focused on the positives such as being able to create a fun environment while giving children the opportunity to discover the joy of the game, it briefly mentions the difficult side such as being tougher on your own kids, perceptions of favoritism, and the keeping the experience for the parent coach and the child a positive one.
I can say from experience that coaching your own kid is NOT a walk in the park. Yes, maybe when the kids are very young, it’s not as tough but, as they get older, wow, those attitudes really come into play…the parent and the child. I’ve coached my daughter in soccer and softball and man let me tell you, the two of us out on the field, we are like oil and water. Try to correct her or give her some guidance and I get “the glare and snarl” from her, you would have thought she was ready to stab daggers through my eyes. Give her a compliment and she ignores me, sit her on the bench or put her in a position she doesn’t like, here comes the rolling of the eyes and the “what, I’m not good enough?”
It surely is not an easy task to coach your own child and to define it as delightful, think again. I have given it a good try but I don’t think I’ll put myself in that position again. I’d much rather be sitting in the stands watching the game as a fan although she’s now telling me that I have a big mouth and doesn’t like to hear me yelling while she’s playing. I guess the days of her standing in the field throwing grass and sending a cute little smile and wave at me are long gone!
Four kids, two adults, popcorn, snacks, and drinks equates to over $100 for my family to go to see a movie at today’s prices. Quite ridiculous if I say so myself. How the heck much does it cost to pop some popcorn or run a soda machine and do these actors really need to get paid the amount of money they do to drive up the cost of a ticket? Gone are the days where you pile the whole family in the car with a cooler full of goodies and pay by the car load for a drive-in.
Ahh, a family outing to the movie theatre sounds like so much fun, that is, if I can find a movie for my grade schoolers that doesn’t contain some type of sex scene or foul language. But hey, it’s only costing me a half of a week’s worth of groceries for the 2 1/2 hour escapade!
Cutting corners, now that’s what I’m all about. I usually keep tickets to our local theatre on hand at the house, I’ll buy them through the Entertainment Book or through my husband’s employer where the tickets are somewhat discounted. In the end you may save $15 but there’s nothing wrong with that! Candy, that I get at Walmart. They sell the same movie pack box that the theatre does but for a fraction of the cost. Sometimes you can even get them for a dollar a box when they are on sale. So 4 boxes at Walmart, that’s $5 vs. at the movie where it would be $20. Popcorn, what they charge for a large bucket is a disgrace. I bring ziplock bags in my purse and when I get the bucket, I ration it out among the 6 of us into the bags. Be sure to take advantage of the size where you can get the refills. As for drinks, being a mom, I carry a big purse! Big enough to bring bottles of water or juices. It may be a bit heavy going in but it will save you a ton!
So there are my money saving tips for bringing the family to a movie. Oh, I almost forgot, be sure to empty your wallet of all the quarters, this way on the way out, you won’t need to stop at the arcade!
Alyssa and I are in the process of changing the site. Hence why you haven’t seen much happening for the past week. We will be streamlining our content as well as giving the site a new look.
In addition, we are looking for guest bloggers. Being a guest blogger will be a great way to promote your blog. Whether you’re an experienced mom blogger, a new mom blogger or just a mom thinking you want to “dabble” in the blogosphere this is a great way to spread the word. Here’s what we’re looking for:
1. We want stories / posts that are original, truthful, non-defamatory, funny and real.
2. We want well written stories that either entertain or inform other moms.
3. We want the post to be original and not to appear on any other blog.
4. Will will give you a link from your post back to your blog (if you have one) plus we will add you to our “guest blogger” blogroll for one month after you post. Frequent guest bloggers will remain on that blogroll until they are no longer regularly guests.
5. If you have a blog, you agree to add a link to Mommy Warriors on your blog.
6. If you become a regular guest blogger, we will send you some MommyWarrior “swag” (that’s a fancy word for merchandise.)
If you’re interested, please email me at Nicole at MommyWarriors dot com. You can submit a sample post and if we like it we’ll put it up.
I’ll keep you all posted and send out an email when the new site is complete.
if you have a child who apperently has a bad behaviour and school has a problem dealing then come see my site
www.freewebs.com/gypsychic
good mom from canada
Enjoy an escape from city life for few days of upscale river living in beautiful Southern Oregon on the famous Rogue River. On a private river estate featuring a main house with 350 feet of river frontage, you can sit on the back porch while gazing at bald eagles flying overhead, salmon jumping in the waters, and deer grazing on the shore.
Featuring a main house of approximately 4,000 square feet, you and your family will have total privacy. The home is a newly constructed craftsman with one master suite and a guest suite, both downstairs, plus two separate bedrooms rooms and an additional bathroom upstairs. If you like to cook, the gourmet kitchen is built for the serious chef and overlooks the great room with 20 foot ceilings, a fireplace, dining room and full entertainment system, complete with plasma television….all built for world-class lounging or watching that day’s sporting event.
The prospect of having surgery can scare a child a great deal. One thing you can do to help is to take your child on a tour of the hospital, including areas where the child will be.
Does anyone have a mother that used the word “raga-muffin”? Mine sure did, she used it to describe us kids when we, well basically, looked like shit. Either the hair was a mess, the clothes didn’t match, the face was filthy, the clothes were torn, etc, etc, etc. So, big deal, we looked a bit disheveled, and that was just unacceptable to my mom.
We always knew that when she said we looked like raga-muffins it meant her pulling out her brush to fix our hair, sending us back to our room to change our clothes or putting enough spit on her finger to clean our face. It wasn’t that we had to look perfect, more or less, we needed to look presentable. Whenever we complained about she would always tell us, “you just wait till you have kids, you’ll know why I do the things I do.”
Well, I guess my mom rubbed off on me. Now that I’m a mom, I do the same thing. I do want my kids to look good, after all, they’re a reflection of me. When I buy my kids clothes, even thought the Garanimal Tags are a thing of the past, I do buy a top and a bottom that match, so they always have an outfit that goes together, if need be. Any clothes that have a hole, go right into the trash. My spray bottle sits on my kitchen counter so before the kids walk out the door, I can fix the bed head. And lastly, I can’t begin to tell you how many places I have the little wet wipes to ensure that my kids have a clean face and hands.
You’re probably wondering what made me write about this particular subject today. Well, it all came about at my daughter’s softball practice when one of the girls showed up looking like a raga-muffin. Her long hair was an absolute disaster, her socks didn’t match (one was ankle length while the other was long) and her shorts had a huge whole in them. What mother would let their kid walk out of the house looking like that? I sure wouldn’t and I can thank my mom for that!
Medical experts say media reports of a study that suggests a pregnant woman’s cell phone use could cause later behavioral problems in her baby raise unnecessary alarm.
In the study, slated for publication in the July issue of the journal Epidemiology, researchers at the Universities of California, Los Angeles, and Aarhus, Denmark, issued a survey to mothers of 13,159 children in Denmark. The survey asked the mothers questions about their use of cell phones during their pregnancy as well as their child’s behavior and their current cell phone use.
NEW YORK (Reuters) - Napster Inc., the digital music service, on Tuesday opened the world’s biggest MP3 download store with more than 6 million songs in a direct challenge to Apple Inc’s iTunes store.
The new Web-based music store will have digital songs from all major music labels as well as thousands of independent labels. The MP3-format songs will be compatible with the vast majority of digital media devices and mobile phones including Apple’s popular iPod as well as its iPhone.
Yes, it’s true that airplane bulkhead seats have more leg room, BUT the armrest doesn’t move - which means your child can’t lie with their head on your lap.
